Downsizing for the Big Move
STUFF. We spend half our lives collecting stuff, and the other half getting rid of stuff. At the peak of that bell curve, many of us look at what we own and say, “Whoa. Enough.” Perhaps the kids have moved out and the house feels too big, or priorities shift toward living with less. Whatever the reason, at some point it becomes clear that it’s time to deal with the stuff.
My “Whoa. Enough.” moment came when my husband and I began to consider living abroad. We knew we didn’t want to take much with us, which meant clearing out almost EVERYTHING - most of our furniture, books, clothing, kitchen, home decor, wall art, and every item with a plug (Europe’s outlets are different). It was staggering to see what had accumulated, especially in areas like the basement and garage, which would require an archeological team to excavate the layers of collections, keepsakes, art supplies, tools, toys, and a museum’s worth of artwork belonging to three different artists in the family.
Clean and Clear. Purge and Pack. Save and Store.
Shifting from an accumulation mindset to one of downsizing was like turning a tanker for me, having spent the first half of my life filling an apartment, then a townhome, and for the past 23 years, a rather large house. The task was daunting, but item by item, we began to reduce.
Sort and Sell. Thrift and Throw. Gather and Give.
This process began in earnest during COVID, and ramped up even more as we got the house ready to sell. Facebook Marketplace became a daily point of reference. Our local second-hand store was a frequent stop. My mind was constantly thinking about who would be a good match for this or that, and things began to find new homes with friends and family. I wanted to honor my belongings by giving them another life, with the goal of not throwing anything away.
Post and Plan. Box and Bag. Donate and Discard.
The act of letting go was hard at first. Things develop emotional weight when they’ve been in your life for so long. But something interesting and unexpected happened in the process of letting go. I started to feel lighter. Less encumbered. More emotionally agile. The more I passed along, the more free I felt. The joy of giving things away replaced the fear of loss, and I realized how little I needed to feel content.
The following are some of my best memories of scaling down, clearing out, and letting go…
Many heartwarming stories came from Marketplace sales. The baby crib we’d been saving went to a young family in need. My drafting table went to a guy setting up his first home studio. Our DVD player went to a family beach house. A small end table would become a creative project for a decorative makeover. Knowing our things would be repurposed with love certainly helped to soften the separation.
I touched EVERY PIECE of physical art in my basement - my own artwork I’d saved from high school and college, and my children’s art from kindergarten through college/art school. EVERY PIECE. The kids had taken what they wanted, so I photographed the favorites, and threw away the rest. Which was painful. But necessary. And with photo records, I knew I still had access. But when I came across my son’s childhood art smock, the good memories brought me to tears. COULD NOT throw that one away.
We emptied 22 large photo albums dating back to 1986 which were too heavy and bulky to store, put the prints in shoe boxes, and brought them to a local camera shop who digitized them all.
I disassembled several personal scrapbooks and reduced the keepsakes from my earlier years. Didn’t need the plastic Waffle House menu from 1982. Most definitely wanted my graduation tassels.
My personal art supplies presented one of the biggest purging projects of all. I could have opened an art supply store with the amount I owned. If you’re a creative, you know what I mean. I kept only the basics to take with me - a couple small watercolor sets, brushes, pens and cut watercolor paper, so the rest of my personal supplies had to go SOMEWHERE. Gratefully, they found new homes with artist friends, young creatives heading to art schools, and a neighborhood teen with an art interest. My precious easel went to a talented friend who would use it well.
Photos of miscellaneous items were frequently sent to my adult children with the question, “Do you want this?” Being minimalists, they often said “NO”, but occasionally I got a “YES,” which of course, warmed my mama’s heart.
A nephew and niece were moving Into a larger home with their three children, and happily welcomed a couple bedroom sets. So grateful for that bit of serendipity. Our master bedroom furniture went to family as well, which felt great.
We dramatically reduced our clothing from two walk-in closets and two dressers to a couple suitcases, donating bags and bags to the local thrift shop. This effort included my jewelry and shoes… an embarrassing amount of both.
The heirloom china and set of silver we got from one of our grandmothers were handed down to nieces and nephews who would give them a new life and keep them in the family. We did the same with family antiques - dishes, furniture, linens, and art.
A friend was moving into her first home, and what a delight it was to give her all of my plants, as well as some furniture, appliances, and decor items. How fun it was to see the photos of these things in her new space.
Books. Our library was sizable, and much too big to store. I systematically read through many of the books I hadn’t yet read, gave some to friends, donated boxes to the thrift store, and left a few in the little book cupboard along a neighborhood walking path. Cookbooks were passed along or brought to a local farm market and placed on their “free-to-take” bookshelves.
Our dining room set was a huge challenge to sell. Does anyone really want a formal dining room anymore? Selling it at auction, wasn’t possible. Several interested parties changed their minds at the last minute. It finally sold with only one week left before our flight to Portugal, and went to a family who spoke about how much they looked forward to their own family gatherings around the table. Heartwarming story, eleventh hour save.
We held a big moving sale for whatever was left. Kitchen stuff, office supplies, lamps, small furniture, frames, and a myriad of miscellaneous items from every corner of the house. What didn’t sell was loaded into cars and taken to the thrift shop.
What we chose to store in the States, and it wasn’t much, was carefully placed with family. All I can say is that I’m glad we started early. There was far more to do than we expected or planned for, and our final months in the States were nothing short of crazy. It’s no secret that packing to move is challenging, but clearing out a house to move abroad takes it to a whole new level. Looking back, It’s hard to believe it all got done, but it did. We just did the next thing next. And we discovered, for us, it feels good to live with less. To be more agile. We were ready for this kind of a shift.